The Term “Generational Poverty” Perfectly Describes Narcissistic Family Legacies

Have you ever heard of this saying before?

The expression Coal Miner Rich was common in my dad’s vocabulary. He worked in the coal mines in the 70s and 80s, and there are a few colloquialisms that he uses frequently with our family that I have never heard from anyone else. He would pull this one out when he saw someone run through their paycheck the day they received it.

Out in the real world, I have heard this concept described through the idiom -> burning a hole in your pocket.

Until I left home, I had only heard it through the uses above. It is a good way to describe the mentality of spending money the moment you earn it. It never sticks around, and it’s never enough. Whether it’s $4 or $4,000,000 doesn’t matter. It’s gone as if it was never real to begin with.

This is a habit that is passed on by nurture. Eventually, it’s a cycle that becomes hard to break out of. It becomes a lifestyle and way of making daily choices in all areas. It’s handed down like genetic traits from parents to their children, as if it becomes coded into the DNA. This is where the phrase generational poverty comes into play.

Isn’t this the same as the legacy that narcissists leave behind in their wake?

Narcissism Breeds Generational Poverty

Instead of being solely about money, it becomes about any resource that they need.

No matter what it is, it will be used up completely until they are forced to seek a new source of supply. Fame, money, attention, sympathy, power, control, sex, adoration, etc. None of it gets stored for later use. It is depleted every time, the moment it is given. Like a bucket with a hole in the bottom, it cannot reach the top. Satisfaction doesn’t happen in this reality.

To narcissists, supply is thought of as a finite resource that comes from the outside. Instead of finding ways to create their own supply, they set their flag in the dirt and gave up on the thought.

It is a black-and-white mentality. Validation and resources only come in through one avenue -> externally. No other options exist, so why bother trying another way?

This is the reason they scheme and plot to steal what you have. They have to. They can’t do it themselves. It’s necessary for survival.

It is an emotionally immature mindset that gets passed down the lineage. Each generation sinks and settles further and further into the bog. The poverty they experience doesn’t end. It gets worse.

The Outliers- The ones who overcome

Cycle breakers happen.

Just like with traditional generational poverty, there may be someone in the narcissist’s family who finds a way to get past their past.

In the country, we call this rise above your raising.

For whatever reason, these individuals are capable of things that other members of their family weren’t. They form a warm empathy. They conquer the victim mentality. They grow internal methods of validation. They feel respect, civility, and kindness in their souls. They aren’t narcissists. They broke the cycle of generational narcissistic poverty.

Through whatever luck, they were born with the ability to do better. Unlucky enough to be born into that system, but lucky enough to have the chance to change their circumstance.

Even if they didn’t break it completely, they broke it somewhat. Somewhat is worlds better than the other option.

Real Poverty Has Nothing To Do With This Concept

Being rich is more than having money.

You can be rich with your income but poor in your mentality. You can have an abundance of resources and be empty inside. You can be someone who has power and influence and still feel like a phony.

This is the fate of narcissism.

If you come from the angle of lacking, you will continue to lack. No matter how much you have, it won’t be enough.

I wouldn’t even wish that on my enemies.